Research shows the people you lost touch with can be more valuable than your current network. Here is why December is the perfect month to reconnect.
Open your phone and scroll through your contacts. Somewhere between the A's and the Z's are dozens of people you once talked to every week. A former colleague who always had the right answer. A client who loved working with you. A mentor who opened a door you walked through years ago.
You did not have a falling out. Nobody did anything wrong. Life just got busy, jobs changed, and the conversations stopped.
Researchers have a name for these relationships. They call them dormant ties. And according to some fascinating research, they may be the most underused asset in your entire network.
As we head into the last month of the year, I want to make the case that December is the best time to wake them up.
What the Research Says About Dormant Ties
For years, the conventional wisdom in networking was simple: relationships you do not maintain lose their value. If you have not talked to someone in three years, the connection is basically gone.
Then a team of researchers decided to test that assumption. In a study published in Organization Science, Daniel Levin, Jorge Walter, and Keith Murnighan asked executives to reach out to people they had not been in contact with for at least three years and ask for advice on a real work project. Then they compared that advice to what the executives got from their current, active contacts.
The results surprised everyone, including the executives. The reconnected dormant ties were just as valuable as current ties, and often more valuable. The insights tended to be more novel, and they were more efficient to get.
Why would someone you have not spoken to in years give you better advice than someone you talk to every week?
The answer makes perfect sense once you hear it. Your current contacts tend to know what you know. You read the same news, go to the same events, and talk to the same people. But while you were out of touch, your dormant contacts were learning, growing, and meeting people you have never met. When you reconnect, you get access to everything they gathered while you were apart.
And unlike a brand new connection, you do not have to start from zero. The trust and shared history are still there. A dormant tie gives you fresh information with the comfort of an old relationship.
The Mistake Most People Make When Reconnecting
A follow-up study by the same researchers found something I think every business owner should know. When people choose who to reconnect with, they tend to pick the wrong people.
Most of us gravitate toward the contacts we used to spend the most time with. It feels safer. Reaching out to someone after years of silence can make us anxious, so we choose the most comfortable option.
But the research showed that the most valuable reconnections often come from people who offer novelty, people you did not spend much time with and who may have moved into bigger roles, combined with people who are likely to genuinely engage with you.
In other words, the former colleague you only worked with on one project, the conference speaker you had a great conversation with once, or the client contact who has since been promoted may have more to offer than your old desk neighbor.
One more finding stood out to me. In the researchers' work, older and more experienced managers tended to get more value from reconnecting than younger ones. That makes sense. The longer your career, the larger and more diverse your pool of dormant ties. If you have been in business for decades, you are sitting on a goldmine you may have forgotten about.
Why December Is the Perfect Month
You can reconnect any time of year. But December gives you advantages no other month does.
You have a natural reason to reach out. The end of the year is a built-in excuse. "I was thinking back on the year and you came to mind" feels completely natural in December. In June, it can feel random.
People are reflective. This time of year, most of us look back on where we have been and think about where we are going. A message from someone in your past fits right into that mindset.
Calendars are lighter. Many businesses slow down in the last two weeks of December. People have a little more time to read a thoughtful message and respond to it.
January is coming. A conversation started in December can turn into a coffee meeting in January, right when people are setting goals and looking for new ideas, partners, and opportunities.
What I Have Learned About Reconnecting
In my career, I have moved through very different worlds. I was a scholar and lecturer at Nagoya University in Japan. I spent years in healthcare technology, designing training programs for enterprise clients. I led sales and business development on the West Coast. Now I help businesses build relationship infrastructure at JNR Communications.
Every one of those chapters left behind people I respected and then, without meaning to, lost touch with.
What I have found is that people are almost always glad to hear from you. The anxiety we feel before reaching out is nearly always bigger than the awkwardness of the actual conversation. Most people are flattered that you remembered them, and curious about what you have been doing.
In Japan, I learned that relationships are rarely seen as finished. A connection made years ago is still a connection, and picking it back up with respect and warmth is welcome. That perspective has stayed with me. Silence does not end a relationship. It just pauses it.
How to Reconnect Without Making It Awkward
The key is simple: give before you ask. Your first message should never be a request. Lead with genuine interest and something of value. That is Givers Gain in action.
Here are three simple messages you can adapt this week.
The year-end reflection: "Hi Sarah, I was looking back on 2026 and thinking about the people who shaped my career. You came to mind right away. I still use the advice you gave me about client presentations. How have you been? I would love to hear what you are working on."
The congratulations: "Hi Mark, I just saw your new role on LinkedIn. Congratulations! It has been far too long since we caught up. I would love to hear how things are going."
The useful share: "Hi Lisa, I came across this article on med spa marketing trends and immediately thought of our conversations years ago. Thought you might find it interesting. Hope you are doing well."
Notice what these messages have in common. They are short. They are specific. They do not pitch anything. And they make it easy to reply.
Your December Reconnection Plan
Here is a simple plan you can start today.
- Make a list of 20 dormant ties. Scroll your LinkedIn connections, old email threads, and phone contacts. Look for people you have not talked to in two years or more.
- Mix comfort with novelty. Include a few old friends, but also add people you only knew briefly, people who have moved up in their careers, and people from different industries.
- Send five messages a week. By the end of December, you will have reconnected with 20 people without overwhelming yourself.
- Lead with value. A thank you, a congratulations, or a useful article. No pitches.
- Suggest a January coffee or call. If the conversation goes well, put a date on the calendar before the holidays end.
- Keep the thread alive. Set a reminder to check in again in three to six months, so the tie does not go dormant again.
The Gift Hiding in Your Contact List
For businesses in medical aesthetics, beauty, and wellness, this matters more than you might think. That former colleague may now run a practice looking for a referral partner. That old client contact may now work for a brand that needs your expertise. That journalist you met years ago may now be an editor looking for sources.
You will never know unless you reach out.
Your next great opportunity may not come from a stranger at a networking event. It may come from someone who already knows you, already trusts you, and has simply been waiting for you to say hello.
This December, say hello.
Your network determines your results in PR. JNR Communications brings deep media relationships and strategic networking expertise to help specialized businesses achieve the visibility they deserve. Let's build your relationship infrastructure together.
✉️ Greg@JNRcommunications.com | 🌐 JNRcommunications.com
